To all of the places that I have known.

I cannot sleep. No matter how many times I close my eyes, no matter how many times I imagine something new to dream about and no matter how many silly pink cotton candy carnival sheep I count, I cannot seem to put myself into that deep relaxation that leads to slumber. I am just anxious I guess. Anxious for what, I am not quite sure about yet. Although I am sure that it is a good anxious. One of those 'get up and get going' kinds. Right now I feel like doing everything that has been spinning around in my head for the past few months. That is an awful many things to want to do. Yet, at the same time my eyelids are growing awfully heavy and my pillow is starting to look like the perfect safe sanctuary for my thoughts. I think I may try a trick I once knew very well. Every night I used to lie in my bed and close my eyes to listen to the highway nearby. It sounds much like the ocean and when I closed my eyes, that is what it became. I would imagine that just over the horizon was the great perpetual force that was the sea, crashing and churning out its violently beautiful lullaby's. I was so good at imagining it, that sometimes I could actually smell the sweet salty air and feel the oceans breath. Oh, how I miss the ocean. The closest I've come to dipping my toes in it for over a year is only in my dreams. I guess that I just have to be content with that for now. Just reminiscing about past ventures is enough motivation to get me to sleep. So I think I will go close my eyes, try this method and see what comes of it. Hopefully it will be a short suspension of consciousness.